The Legend; The Legacy

In the wake of losing my brother in law, Dallas, to suicide in February of 2015, I was left with feelings of shock, sadness, confusion, anger, denial, guilt…you name it, I felt it. Most of all I was left with a hole; in my life, in my family, and in my heart. As with any loss, I struggled to find a way to cope with the grief and to support the ones I love. I needed to do something. I needed to find a way to help; to bring a light to the darkness that surrounded me. I couldn’t bring Dallas back, and I couldn’t help him with his struggle; but could I help someone? Anyone? Could I help others mourning this loss? Could I help others that were struggling? Could I keep another family from going through this? Could I help the man that I love with all my heart try to pick up the pieces of his life, after everything he had ever known and trusted in this world, had been shattered into a million pieces? The answer was yes. I could. I had to.

And so, The Legend was born. A memorial golf tournament to honor Dallas (The Legend or the Ledge, as many knew him by) seemed like a perfect fit. He was an avid golfer, was quite possibly the most competitive person I ever met, and loved nothing more than to spend time with friends and family. How could we help others mourning his loss? We could start a tradition, and give family and friends a reason to come together; to reminisce and to show each other support.

As time passed and planning for the tournament got underway, I searched for information to increase my knowledge; to help me to understand. I continued to research addiction, mental illness and suicide; the statistics were alarming! According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, the Centre for Suicide Prevention & the World Health Organization; One in five Canadians will experience a mental illness or addiction problem in their lifetime. There is a suicide on our planet every 40 seconds, and an attempt every 3 seconds. 90% of people that commit suicide have a mental illness, addiction; or both. We are surrounded by people that are struggling; yet no one is talking about it. We had to do something!

But how? Where do you start? After working in health care as a Registered Nurse for the last 10 years, I felt let down by the very system that was supposed to help. It had failed miserably. Mental health services and supports need to improve; assessment and referral procedures in acute medical systems need an overhaul; our government needs to properly allocate funding to provide more continuity of care, so people aren’t slipping through the cracks. Looking at the daunting task of igniting social and political change, I felt powerless. However, working in health care and the non profit sector has also taught me that to make big changes you have to start somewhere, and most often you will see the biggest change working within your circle of influence. I would say that bringing people together to start a conversation and reduce stigma is as good a place as any.

How do we help others that are struggling? By using the golf tournament as a way to get the word out! That people that we love are struggling, and that it’s ok to talk about it. That you yourself may be struggling, and that it’s ok to ask for help.

Research has shown that one of the most important protective factors against mental illness and addiction is the presence of a support system. Let’s support one another!

How could we keep other families from going through this? By increasing awareness and supporting suicide prevention initiatives. A portion of the proceeds from the tournament will be used to partner with the Safe Communities Committee (City of Brooks & County of Newell) to host a suicide awareness workshop for the community; one of the first steps in building a suicide-safer community.

Funds will also be donated to the amazing organization that provides these and other important workshops throughout the province. The Centre for Suicide Prevention is an education & resource centre dedicated to educating people with the information, knowledge and skills necessary to respond to the risk of suicide. One of their chief responsibilities is providing suicide prevention & intervention workshops developed by Living Works, the World leader in suicide intervention training. Their vision is to have Canadians that are equipped to respond to those at risk of suicide, and we can help.

Research indicates that many mental illnesses actually start in young adulthood, and suicide remains the second leading cause of death for young people in Canada. Further more, the root of addiction frequently starts in childhood, often related to trauma; but as Dr. Gabor Mate writes “that’s not [always] when bad things happen but when good things don’t happen”

How could we help others that are struggling and perhaps prevent suicides as a result of mental illness or addiction? By helping those “good things” to happen. By promoting a positive school environment and providing opportunity for youth to have positive role models, and to build resiliency, coping skills and a support system to count on. Choosing one of our beneficiaries to help us take on this hugely important task seemed like a no brainer! The Grasslands Innovations Project is a mental health capacity building project that operates in schools within the Grasslands Public School Division. It is an integrated, multidisciplinary, team approach providing promotion, prevention and early intervention, and addiction and mental health services to children and their families. The funds will assist Innovations to implement leadership and resiliency programming in one of the junior high schools, and the partnership with our foundation will help them to provide education and promote awareness about mental health and suicide.

How do we help? With your help! The support for the golf tournament in and of itself is so important to us. It honors a man that we all love and miss so dearly. It also serves as the catalyst for a community wide project aimed at raising awareness and reducing stigma through education, health promotion, social change, and government lobbying. With your help we can begin to build a legacy of compassion, support and understanding!

As the project has evolved over the past year, it has provided an opportunity to put our energy towards something positive. Many people have offered to help, sent generous donations and shown their support for what we are trying to do. Brick by brick we begin to build this legacy in honor of Dallas; and without even realizing it, I think that hole in my heart may be a little smaller. It has started to fill with little pieces of love, kindness, support, understanding, and compassion from those around me. Thank you for helping to pick up the pieces.
~ Ashley


For tournament info please visit our Facebook Page at : FullCircle FDN for Wellness

To Register please email fcf4wellness@gmail.com and request a package.

Pink Ribbon Project Thank You ~ The Ripple Effect

It's taken a little time to sit down to write this thank you....In the days that follow PRP I find that I need to regroup , reflect on the evening and move forward when I have the clarity to share what the event means to us,  and what actually comes to fruition through it, beyond just a final tally of the dollars and cents. 

photo credits: Jessica Surgenor Photography
Find full photo gallery here: http://jessicasurgenorphotography.pass.us/prp2016/

This year's Pink Ribbon Project was an especially tough one for me. With the progression of my Mom's breast cancer and the knowledge we gained in May of it's spread to her liver, there were days I found it difficult to focus on the details that need to be taken care of to bring this event to life. The reality of her battle weighed heavily on all of us as the event drew closer. She started her first round of chemo, which will now continue indefinitely just days before PRP. Knowing that we had organizations that depend on us and all of our guests to take care of gave me something else to focus my energy on and knowing what the night would bring; the energy in the room that gives love and support to those who need it allowed me to move forward with purpose. I am so grateful for that. 

We all know the  stat...1 in 9 Canadian women will face a breast cancer diagnosis. If it hasn't already, this disease will touch your life in some way. When you attend or support PRP in some way, do not underestimate the effect that has. Through the Pink Ribbon Project we are impacting each and every one of the women that will face this disease by supporting the  organizations that are on the front lines; funding research for early detection,  life saving & extending treatment and fighting for the best possible care for breast cancer patients.  You are making that possible.

This year the Pink Ribbon Project raised $21,000 to be shared between the Canadian Breast Cancer Network and the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. On behalf of the PRP committee and the Full Circle Foundation I want to thank each and every person that supported PRP 3 in some way; we are truly humbled by the continued support of this event. Every year our partners and sponsors put their trust in us and give generously to make this event a reality. It would be impossible without them and we will be forever grateful.

If you read our blog posts leading up to Pink Ribbon Project or attended the event, you know that our focus this year was sharing, " Why We PRP....." In the months leading up to the event more and more reasons kept coming to light; not only as things changed for our committee and we found ourselves re-focusing but as people found us, reached out  and allowed us to start to feel the effects of what we have been doing the past 3 years. As people reached out, we began to see that our overriding reasons for Why We PRP actually encompassed every situation we experienced and made it clear that we are taking steps in the right direction. Educate, Advocate, Donate.....

Through  different mediums; social media, our blog, print and  educational materials we worked to shine a light on stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer to further  awareness and understanding of what a stage 4 diagnosis truly means. Our focus has always been to educate ourselves and others and we learned so much through this process. People have been reaching out to share with us what they have learned about metastatic breast cancer, what they didn't know, and how they will be more aware moving forward. For those of you who have shared, thank you. For me, knowing that we have reached even one person gives me more peace of mind.  Its too late for me to go back, to  know what I know now about stage 4 but I can move forward and share that information with others.  

We  specifically wanted to reach  women who have already faced breast cancer in the past and are living their lives with a cancer free status. We wanted them and everyone who loves them to be aware that 30% of them will have their breast cancer return as metastatic. Not to live their life in fear; but to tuck away this bit of information and be able to retrieve it if and when they have persistent, worsening symptoms that may even 

seem unrelated to their previous breast cancer battle. Live with hope, health and happiness but have the information to fall back on. We wanted their family to have  that little voice reminding them of what they know about metastatic breast cancer so that nothing catches them off guard. I used to wish every minute, of every day that I had figured it out sooner; that something would have clicked for me instantly, telling me that my Mom's breast cancer was back. How could I not have put the pieces together? I know now, that I couldn't put the pieces together because I didn't have them all. That puzzle couldn't be solved by me because I didn't know enough. Through PRP we are making sure that others have all the pieces. 

 The steps we have taken as a committee to get more involved in advocacy work have opened a door to both information and action steps. For me, I no longer feel frozen by fear. I know that there are steps I can take that may or may not change things for my family but may change the future for others. Through this new focus we have met others that have needed access to the information we have, or  to be directed to the resources we have accessed through our partnerships. One of the most humbling experiences I have had came to me by way of PRP as we welcomed a new friend and had the opportunity to hear her story, share resources with her and help her, if nothing else to know that she is not alone; that we are fighting for her too!

We are working hard  to have our concerns heard at both a provincial and federal level regarding access to treatments for stage 4 patients. With the guidance of the Canadian Breast Cancer Network and your support we are able to focus our energy in this area and we will not stop until we see equitable access for all breast cancer patients in Canada. Women with metastatic breast cancer are dying while they wait 2-4 years to access new treatments. This is shocking and unacceptable and we must continue to advocate for change. For my Mom and all other breast cancer patients with stage 4, this is a life or death battle and we will continue stand beside them, demanding change. 

When you support PRP you are allowing us to direct funds to organizations we feel are having the most impact on research and patient care. For us it has to be both. The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation has recently made a commitment to fund more research that is specific to metastatic breast cancer. We look forward to seeing which projects will be funded and the outcomes of them . The Canadian Breast Cancer Network continues to advocate for the best care possible for all Canadians facing breast cancer and strives to shine a light on metastatic breast cancer. We are honoured to support the work of both of these organizations and are thankful for the partnerships we have built with them and will continue to build in the future.

Three years into PRP we are starting to see the ripple effect of this event. It's one night....9 hours to be exact where we have a chance to educate, advocate and donate....but the effects of that are starting to reach further and further each year. We don't know what will happen tomorrow but we know that within our community, if someone is looking for support, information, a friend who truly understands what they are facing or someone who will fight for them as they go through their own journey with breast cancer, that they know where to look. We know because we have experienced the ripples more and more each year. Keep reaching out to us if you need support ~ We are here. And for those of you that have supported PRP;  you are creating the ripple effect, keep sharing our stories, our work and what you experience when you attend PRP. You never know what the effect of that might be.

The support you show us through PRP means more than we can ever explain....to paraphrase what my sister, Tara said during her speech that night...Never underestimate what it means when you show up for someone who needs you. In what ever way you choose to show up,  please keep doing it.  In this journey we are on with our Mom,  you are the good. You are giving us the strength that we need to keep going; no matter what the future holds. 

You make it possible for us to fight for our Mom, and for all the those who have faced  breast cancer and for those who will face it in the future. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear and helplessness, I choose to keep moving forward, wearing the support of our Pink Ribbon Project family as armour around my heart, which is full of hope. 

~ Carmen