Why We PRP....A Mother's Day Blog

Even before I started reading my way through the wall of Mother’s Day cards, I knew I wasn’t going to find one this year.  I didn’t want to read them, I didn’t want to feel like I was choking back tears, or feel disappointed that nobody seemed to be able to put into words what I was feeling for my Mom.  I didn’t want to think about the future, I didn’t even want to think about the past.  I just didn’t want to.

So I walked away empty handed. 

My head and my heart were full of things I wanted to express for my Mom, and to her.  Things I want people to understand about Stage IV breast cancer, about the brave souls fighting their battle with it, and about the families and friends battling alongside them.

I remembered I did have a card tucked away that I had been saving for my Mom.  To me, it seems to better capture the person she is: the selfless woman I admire, the courageous fighter I am in awe of, and the fierce giver of support, encouragement and love she shares with the world every day.......

“Once in a blue moon, people will surprise you…

and once in a while,

people may even take your breath away.” – Grey’s Anatomy

Thank you for making mine a lifetime of blue moons.

My Mom has always kind of taken my breath away.  From the early days when you love your Mommy just because she’s the most beautiful Mommy in the world, to the years when your love grows into respect, admiration, and gratitude, my Mom has never stopped amazing me.  She never will.   I will never be able to fully express my love, but I promise I will never stop trying.

Being part of the family of a Stage IV patient is a delicate balance.  There are so many days when people tell me how good Mom looks, and how they almost forget that she’s sick, and I am thankful for every one of these days and comments.  As her family, we are thankful for every good day, and every good checkup.  Whether we acknowledge it fully, our collective anxiety rises as each scan and test is performed leading up to her next three month checkup.  We hold our breath, waiting for either the other shoe to drop, or a good checkup.  Good meaning that the cancer in her bones is staying put, and not taking up residence in more sites, or in her organs.  Living with Stage IV in the family feels like a constant battle against the disease, and the clock.  Daily, we balance hope and fear, optimism and realism, and often struggle with so many questions that don’t have answers. 

Mom takes her hormone therapy and bone strengthening injections like most people take their vitamins.  She puts up with her family of watchdogs checking up on her – is she eating enough, resting enough, sleeping well, taking time with her friends, and taking time for herself??  She has always approached her fight with an attitude of accepting whatever it takes to keep her here for “her people”.

What I hope she knows is how very blessed we all feel to be “her people.”  She worries endlessly about how her cancer impacts her family, her friends, our friends, and the people around her.  It is hard, absolutely, but in the face of uncertainty and difficulties, our family has grown stronger and closer.  We tell it like it is, hold each other a little tighter, and make the most of the moments we have together.  Our extended circle of love and support is also amazing, and we have nothing but gratitude for that.

We are three years into this journey with Metastatic Breast Cancer.  A disease we knew very little about prior to Mom’s diagnosis.  We really didn’t know that 30% of those diagnosed with breast cancer will have it come back as Stage IV.  We didn’t know any of the things we maybe should have been watching for.  We didn’t know there were so many types of breast cancer, so many treatment plans, or so many people battling.  We just didn’t know.  Until we had to.

I think that is one of the most important things for people to understand about the Pink Ribbon Project.  To us, it is not just a fundraiser. We have so many reasons why we PRP.... It is about taking action in the face of something so much bigger than just our story.  We are raising money, but we are also raising awareness, educating people, and creating a community of support where people feel they can find the resources they need, or someone who just might understand a little of what they are going through.  As we work to educate ourselves, we hope to educate others.  As we find our voice for those fighting this disease, we hope others will join in to make that voice stronger.

The first two years of PRP benefitted the Canadian BreastCancer Foundation, which focuses funds mainly on awareness, research, and early detection.  This year we have expanded our focus to include the Canadian Breast Cancer Network as a second beneficiary.  This survivor driven agency works to make sure patients are getting the best care and support possible.  Recently they have placed more focus on Stage IV, which is why it is so important to share our support with them at this time.  They are fighting to ensure that Stage IV patients have access to the medications and treatments they need to prolong life.

We are proud to lend our support and voices to both of these organizations as they work to provide the research, support, and advocacy needed across all stages of breast cancer.  Both are needed, both are important, and both provide hope and resources to those who need it most.  For us, it has to be both.  We need to continue supporting the work towards an eventual cure, while also supporting those working on life extending treatments for those facing Stage IV right now.

Each year my list of reasons grows as to why I PRP.  My hope is that sharing our stories helps other people to understand more about this disease, and that sharing our event creates a feeling of community and strength.  Some days I feel like my three year-old at bedtime asking, “Mommy, will you stay with me for just a little longer?”  Other days, I can feel stronger, that as we educate, advocate & donate, we are making progress, making a contribution, and possibly a different story.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!  Thank you for being a fighter always – I love you to the moon and back, and more than all the stars in the sky….xoxo

~Tara

(For event & ticket information for the Pink Ribbon Project please see our webpage or  follow us Facebook )