Hoping, Helping & Healing

I am looking forward to volunteering at The Legend Golf Tournament again this July. By the end of the day last year I felt overjoyed at how many people came out to support such an important cause. Volunteering with the Full Circle Foundation for the tournament was an opportunity that came to me at just the right time in my life and I knew it was something I had to do!  The intention behind the tournament is to increase awareness and understanding around mental health and suicide, while raising funds to help support related community programming. The tournament is a chance to reduce stigma,  talk about  some very difficult topics and take the opportunity to say , "It's ok, to not be ok!".  It brings me happiness and a sense of purpose to help raise awareness around these important issues; it allows me to be actively involved, and the message speaks right to my heart. Two years ago I lost my Dad to suicide.

For the longest time I was full of guilt. I would think about things I could have done differently. I wondered if I could have done something, anything that would have allowed my Dad to still be with us today. I've been working hard to learn more about suicide over the past two years so that I can have a better understanding of what happened, but I know that I did everything I could. Volunteering for  the tournament allows me to find some purpose and some peace in the wake of my Dad's death. I feel like I am doing my part to help others; raising awareness about mental health,  encouraging others to ask for help. After losing a loved one to suicide, I know that work like this could potentially save a life.

If you notice out of character behaviours or are worried about a loved one, coworker or friend, don't be afraid to talk to them. Depression and other mental illnesses are just that, an illness. We have to treat it the same as we would a physical illness. It's ok to talk about it.  There are so many people out there struggling and they might be unaware of whom or where to go to for help. If we all work to reduce the stigma around asking for help, we could support so many people. No one deserves to feel alone.

Being involved with the tournament gives me another way to do some healing of my own, while supporting others.  Somehow it helps just to see people come out to support each other!  Its also a chance to hear stories and meet other people who have had their lives impacted by suicide or mental health issues in their own families. The first year after losing my Dad was so, so hard. If you have ever been through the grieving process, for any reason you know that it isn't easy.  I had really great days and really bad days. For the first while I found it very hard to be by myself, I did whatever I could to distract myself throughout the day which helped a lot, but once it came to night time I really struggled.  Time went by and I still wasn't doing any better. I thought nothing would ever feel normal again. A big factor in moving forward and healing came to me by way of a very special event called SOS day.

Every year CMHA hosts an event at the Calgary zoo called Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. November  2016 was my second year attending SOS Day. The first year I attended I was super skeptical about going. It had only been about six months since my Dad's death. My mind was still all over the place. My life was still all over the place!  I honestly had no idea what to expect. I was absolutely blown away with how many people were there. It was heartbreaking but also heartwarming. By the end of the day I had cried about a hundred times and laughed about a hundred times. The whole experience was honest, raw, eye opening and it gave me hope. I felt SO much comfort knowing I wasn't the only one going through a situation like that.  I felt relieved hearing and seeing first hand, that eventually I was going to be doing better!

I think events like SOS day are super important. I didn't know how to even start to cope with my situation. I just happened to come across SOS Day and thankfully I took the opportunity to go. SOS day is place where if you aren't ready to open up about your experience you can just sit and listen to others;  or if you are ready to open up, its a safe place full of people you can lean on without any judgment at all.

I was so excited to learn that this year, some of the proceeds from the tournament will be going to CMHA to support SOS Day. I hope others who have been thinking about going to SOS day will go for it and those who haven't heard about it will look into it, learn more and take the opportunity to go. Thats why events like the golf tournament are so important. They open people's minds and encourage them to learn about mental health. They bring resources and people together and may open the door to new possibilities! Losing a loved one to suicide is a very difficult situation to deal with, but when we have events like the Legend Tournament it brings those of us who have been through it together and puts us alongside people who care and are there to help and support us and I am so thankful for that!

You know that saying “Time heals all wounds." It definitely does not heal everything, but you know what; it does help to heal.  Today I am in a totally different place and mindset from what I was in two years ago. I am coming to terms with my grief.  I still have bad days but I have great days too! Grief will always be there, it won't ever go away but eventually it lessens with time and support.  Support is so important and if we are lucky, it comes to us in many different ways.

~Jayna Whitrow

**Registration for The Legend Tournament is now open. Please email fcf4wellness@gmail.com to request a registration package and register your team.

Two Words....

Breast Cancer......... two words that nobody ever wants to hear! Unfortunately,  I had to hear them when I was diagnosed five years ago. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone since then. While the years have flown by, I have lived with a little bit of fear every day since my treatment ended, wondering if I would ever have to face breast cancer again......

I found a large lump in my left breast on November 17, 2011. I wanted to ignore it, thinking I had maybe pulled a muscle or something. I kept it to myself for a couple of days and my husband and I headed to our home in BC that we were in the middle of constructing. I kept feeling it, every 15 minutes to see if it was still there, and it was. I was hoping it would feel smaller or disappear. Two days later I finally told my husband what I had found. We packed up and came home and I booked an appointment with the Doctor. The appointment for my biopsy came shortly after, and I waited, and waited for results to come back. While at work I was finding it hard to focus. I would go to one of my closest colleagues at work every day and ask her to feel the lump to see if she could feel a difference in the size. We went through that Christmas with a dark cloud over our heads. We left for BC with the family for the Christmas holidays. l knew in my heart what I was going to hear, but still held onto the hope of good results because “No News Is Good News," right?!

On December 29th, 2011, I finally received a call from the Doctor to tell me that I had breast cancer. My heart sank, and it seemed like all my blood was leaving my body. My husband and my daughter were standing beside me and embracing me as I hung up the phone.

There were tears of helplessness. All the while, my little 7 year old granddaughter was sitting on the sofa watching and not saying a word. I looked over at her and motioned for her to come to me. She sat on my lap and I said “honey, Grandma just found out that I am sick, and we are all just a little scared right now” She said, "I know Grandma, I get scared too when I get sick”. We all started to giggle with tears in our eyes. It is funny what sticks out in your mind, when you look back on it.

 In those early days, before treatment started I watched my daughter, my husband, and my son closely. I could see that they were absolutely crushed by the news. I decided I had to be strong! I was willing to do whatever it took to get me through this, keep the fear away and protect my family.

I was going to fight, and I was going to live! I had a lumpectomy in January 2012, and then started 4 rounds of chemotherapy, and shortly after that I attended three weeks of radiation. The support flowed in from everywhere. I had boxes of food delivered at my door from my co-workers. Our dear friends offered me an apartment in downtown Calgary as I went through my radiation treatment. Cards and flowers were coming from people I hardly knew. Friends were showing up at my door to check up on me. I was overwhelmed. It taught me that giving support to someone that is struggling is so important.

I found another kind of support to be very powerful. I think it helps so much to talk to someone else who has gone, or is going through the same struggles as you. At the time of my diagnosis, I heard of an acquaintance who was diagnosed the day before I was. I called her and asked her to return my call if she was willing to talk. We talked constantly and helped each other through every day. From the initial hair loss to the feelings of anxiety and lack of energy. It made everything so much more bearable for both of us. Experiencing this type of support motivated me to offer the same to others and since then I have remained dedicated to helping others deal with their fear.

Then there was my family!! What an amazing, loving family I have. All my strength was drawn from their love and for my love for all of them. They were with me every step of the way. Every time I opened my eyes after hours of sleeping on the sofa, I would look over and see my husband’s face which could not hide all the worry and anxiety he was experiencing. I would smile at him and he would smile back. The first question was always, "How are you feeling?" At that time I think he was feeling worse than I was! That was the worst part, watching my family.

I received so many different types of support, and it helped me get through the difficult weeks and months of treatment. After each round of chemo, my strength would return and things would become somewhat more normal until the next round.

As with every woman, I think the thought of losing your hair is very frightening. The hair loss started a couple of days after my first chemo treatment. It would come out in handfuls when I would run my fingers through my hair, so I decided to cut it short. By the next day, I called my daughter to come and give me a shorter cut, and by the next day I asked my husband to shave it off for me. I have to say that was one of the hardest things to deal with. But once it was off, I started to feel comfortable with my new wigs. We tried to make it fun. My grandchildren would ask if they could wear my wig, so I would take it off and they would take turns running around the house and making us all laugh.

After my 4th round, I rang the bell at Foothills hospital in the chemotherapy room, everybody clapped for me, and I left with such a feeling of pride and accomplishment. I was done the first part of my journey.

For me, the radiation wasn't as hard to deal with; it was like a bad sunburn. Three weeks later that portion of my treatment was complete and I felt like my life was on a new exciting road.

 I look at things a lot differently than I did before that November 17th. I now realize what is really important in my life and in my relationships. It was painful to watch my family through out my treatment but now we never fail to say "I love you". I choose to see the positives that came out of my breast cancer.

Recently I got the news that my nephew's wife was going in for a breast biopsy, so I called her to see if we could meet and talk. I learned from my own experience that you should never underestimate how much someone may need you. She arrived at my house; shoulders pulled up, on the verge of tears. We hugged and she came in so we could sit down and talk. We spent a couple of hours together and I showed her my journal, gave her my books on breast cancer, and tried to explain some of what I experienced. I explained about what she may have to endure if she was indeed diagnosed with this disease. Knowing what that waiting can be like, I told her that I felt the actual treatment was not as bad the unknown. To me the fear was so much worse than actually living it!  I shared how I had looked at treatment; as a task that had to be done and that the right attitude would help her through those difficult days. I reminded her of the excellent care I received,  the Doctors and Nurses were so amazing and I never felt left in the dark. She left my house with a smile on her face, and I think a feeling of power and positivity. Between then and now, she has been through a mastectomy and is currently undergoing chemotherapy  . I talk with her constantly! She is doing so great, and is so very strong. I am going to be with her every step of the way!!

Events like the Pink Ribbon Project are so important for those of us who have been through this disease or who are going through it now. Funds raised for research and resources are crucial for all cancer patients! PRP offers amazing support, not only for those living with breast cancer but for their loved ones as well! I truly believe that knowledge is power and over the past few years at this event a lot of knowledge and information has been shared. Information that goes beyond the basic breast cancer stats and looks at the bigger picture. Information about what metastatic breast cancer is, including the fact that breast cancer can go on to become metastatic even decades after initial diagnosis.  So while I do live with that little bit of fear, I also get to live with knowledge and with hope and that's what I choose to focus on. That and my commitment to continue to do more for others facing a breast cancer diagnosis, through support I can offer them, and through PRP.  

I am so glad that my family and I have been a part of this event since the beginning! My son, daughter and daughter in law have been working on PRP since day one! I am so proud of my children, and every one of these kids for the effort they have put into this project. PRP is an amazing, enchanting night, and I believe everyone who attends comes away with feelings of hope and understanding. There are  many of us here today because of people like you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

~Brenda Shepherd

** Join us at PRP 4 on June 17th, 2017. Get event info & tickets here: Pink Ribbon Project

The Pursuit of More.....

I remember, as a child hearing the word cancer thrown around. We were told that once upon a time our Grandmother had fought and won against breast cancer. But that was it; no details, limited knowledge from a child’s perspective. Much later, when our son was born, my aunt was in the same hospital getting treatment for breast cancer. Just like her Mom, she was facing the same disease. Being older meant understanding more about this disease and what it could do. It meant a greater understanding, as a woman and mother what the impact of breast cancer might be, the toll it could take. Then thankfully with treatment completed, she was better.  No more was said and everybody moved on.  It wasn't until much later, when faced with new information that I started to wonder;  what more should I know? What more could I do?

Thinking about those questions throws me right back to my first Pink Ribbon Project experience. To be honest, it was just a night out for me and my husband! Some great friends of ours invited us and we showed up expecting some great food, drinks, entertainment!

Somewhere around the middle of the evening we realized we were there for a much bigger purpose.  The knowledge that was shared with us that night was amazing and the statistics regarding breast cancer were astonishing to us. Astonishing, even though breast cancer had affected my family, not once but twice!

After our first year attending PRP,  I was more motivated than ever to get involved. The following year;  donation in hand, we arrived with two of our family members that we wanted to share the experience with. You see, at the time our sister in law’s mother was battling cancer and we thought it might be a nice chance to enjoy a night out and take in the hope and support that just seems to be in the air at PRP. It was very touching to see her so deeply moved by a speech given by Jody, one of the committee's biggest inspirations for the event.  It seemed that just hearing  someone else's story made her feel a little bit better. That was the moment we decided that the following year, we would become sponsors.

At PRP 3,  I paid even more attention, keeping my ears and eyes open for any information I could soak in. We were introduced to other committee members and representatives from breast cancer organizations and had the chance to ask questions and learn more about breast cancer, specifically metastatic breast cancer. While we learned a lot and knew the impact of our contribution, still I went home that night asking my husband what we could do that would accomplish even more. 

Not long after this, those great friends who originally introduced us to PRP asked me if I would be interested in joining them on the  board of the Full Circle Foundation for Wellness. This is the group responsible for the Pink Ribbon Project and so, so much more. I jumped at the chance, this was what I had wanted!

From an attendee, to a sponsor and now to a participating board member. This was my chance to do more! Through the Full Circle Foundation I can reach and include more people, educate others, and most importantly, inspire others to do more as well.

We live in such a great community where people take the time to plan events like this that educate and raise awareness and funds for all kind of things. In the past I have championed other causes very near to my heart, so I know what it takes. It was time to take my passion for helping others and apply it to a different issue. One that impacted my family and the lives so many others. Full Circle Foundation gave me the opportunity I had been looking for, a way to do more. I'm grateful for  all the research that has happened between my Grandmother's diagnosis and now and for funding available to make new advances. My Grandma and Aunt survived and thrived and looking ahead I can be confident that I will have a hand in what the future holds for me and for my daughters as well.

As we move into Pink Ribbon Project season we are busy asking ourselves how we can have the biggest impact. How can we do more? What does more look like to the breast cancer community? We hope to see you at PRP 4 so you can see how we have answered these questions and how we can come together and do even more!!

~ Tanya Trembecki

** PRP is on June 17.  Tickets go on sale May 1. See our social media accounts for event & ticket info soon!

World Suicide Prevention Day ....

In recognition of World Suicide Prevention Day we take a look back at our first Legend Tournament, a one of a kind event in our community ~ raising funds for mental health & suicide prevention initiatives.

Thank you again to all of our sponsors and all those that attended this event. Your generosity touched the hearts of many and will continue to do so as the funds impact our community and those who need it most. Join us in recognizing WSPD; remembering all those who have lost their life to suicide and the friends and families that love them and miss them.

In honour of the day, we are opening registration for the safeTALK Workshop that is offered via funds raised by the Legend Tournament and in partnership with the Safe Communities Committee - City of Brooks & County of Newell . 

This workshop is free of charge and is open to all members of our community. Please email fcf4wellness@gmail.com for more info & to register. 

Today as we reflect on the tournament &  our inspiration for this event we ask you to:

Be one who reaches out

Be one who speaks up

Be one who listens

Be one who makes a difference

Be one. 

The Legend; The Legacy

In the wake of losing my brother in law, Dallas, to suicide in February of 2015, I was left with feelings of shock, sadness, confusion, anger, denial, guilt…you name it, I felt it. Most of all I was left with a hole; in my life, in my family, and in my heart. As with any loss, I struggled to find a way to cope with the grief and to support the ones I love. I needed to do something. I needed to find a way to help; to bring a light to the darkness that surrounded me. I couldn’t bring Dallas back, and I couldn’t help him with his struggle; but could I help someone? Anyone? Could I help others mourning this loss? Could I help others that were struggling? Could I keep another family from going through this? Could I help the man that I love with all my heart try to pick up the pieces of his life, after everything he had ever known and trusted in this world, had been shattered into a million pieces? The answer was yes. I could. I had to.

And so, The Legend was born. A memorial golf tournament to honor Dallas (The Legend or the Ledge, as many knew him by) seemed like a perfect fit. He was an avid golfer, was quite possibly the most competitive person I ever met, and loved nothing more than to spend time with friends and family. How could we help others mourning his loss? We could start a tradition, and give family and friends a reason to come together; to reminisce and to show each other support.

As time passed and planning for the tournament got underway, I searched for information to increase my knowledge; to help me to understand. I continued to research addiction, mental illness and suicide; the statistics were alarming! According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, the Centre for Suicide Prevention & the World Health Organization; One in five Canadians will experience a mental illness or addiction problem in their lifetime. There is a suicide on our planet every 40 seconds, and an attempt every 3 seconds. 90% of people that commit suicide have a mental illness, addiction; or both. We are surrounded by people that are struggling; yet no one is talking about it. We had to do something!

But how? Where do you start? After working in health care as a Registered Nurse for the last 10 years, I felt let down by the very system that was supposed to help. It had failed miserably. Mental health services and supports need to improve; assessment and referral procedures in acute medical systems need an overhaul; our government needs to properly allocate funding to provide more continuity of care, so people aren’t slipping through the cracks. Looking at the daunting task of igniting social and political change, I felt powerless. However, working in health care and the non profit sector has also taught me that to make big changes you have to start somewhere, and most often you will see the biggest change working within your circle of influence. I would say that bringing people together to start a conversation and reduce stigma is as good a place as any.

How do we help others that are struggling? By using the golf tournament as a way to get the word out! That people that we love are struggling, and that it’s ok to talk about it. That you yourself may be struggling, and that it’s ok to ask for help.

Research has shown that one of the most important protective factors against mental illness and addiction is the presence of a support system. Let’s support one another!

How could we keep other families from going through this? By increasing awareness and supporting suicide prevention initiatives. A portion of the proceeds from the tournament will be used to partner with the Safe Communities Committee (City of Brooks & County of Newell) to host a suicide awareness workshop for the community; one of the first steps in building a suicide-safer community.

Funds will also be donated to the amazing organization that provides these and other important workshops throughout the province. The Centre for Suicide Prevention is an education & resource centre dedicated to educating people with the information, knowledge and skills necessary to respond to the risk of suicide. One of their chief responsibilities is providing suicide prevention & intervention workshops developed by Living Works, the World leader in suicide intervention training. Their vision is to have Canadians that are equipped to respond to those at risk of suicide, and we can help.

Research indicates that many mental illnesses actually start in young adulthood, and suicide remains the second leading cause of death for young people in Canada. Further more, the root of addiction frequently starts in childhood, often related to trauma; but as Dr. Gabor Mate writes “that’s not [always] when bad things happen but when good things don’t happen”

How could we help others that are struggling and perhaps prevent suicides as a result of mental illness or addiction? By helping those “good things” to happen. By promoting a positive school environment and providing opportunity for youth to have positive role models, and to build resiliency, coping skills and a support system to count on. Choosing one of our beneficiaries to help us take on this hugely important task seemed like a no brainer! The Grasslands Innovations Project is a mental health capacity building project that operates in schools within the Grasslands Public School Division. It is an integrated, multidisciplinary, team approach providing promotion, prevention and early intervention, and addiction and mental health services to children and their families. The funds will assist Innovations to implement leadership and resiliency programming in one of the junior high schools, and the partnership with our foundation will help them to provide education and promote awareness about mental health and suicide.

How do we help? With your help! The support for the golf tournament in and of itself is so important to us. It honors a man that we all love and miss so dearly. It also serves as the catalyst for a community wide project aimed at raising awareness and reducing stigma through education, health promotion, social change, and government lobbying. With your help we can begin to build a legacy of compassion, support and understanding!

As the project has evolved over the past year, it has provided an opportunity to put our energy towards something positive. Many people have offered to help, sent generous donations and shown their support for what we are trying to do. Brick by brick we begin to build this legacy in honor of Dallas; and without even realizing it, I think that hole in my heart may be a little smaller. It has started to fill with little pieces of love, kindness, support, understanding, and compassion from those around me. Thank you for helping to pick up the pieces.
~ Ashley


For tournament info please visit our Facebook Page at : FullCircle FDN for Wellness

To Register please email fcf4wellness@gmail.com and request a package.

Pink Ribbon Project Thank You ~ The Ripple Effect

It's taken a little time to sit down to write this thank you....In the days that follow PRP I find that I need to regroup , reflect on the evening and move forward when I have the clarity to share what the event means to us,  and what actually comes to fruition through it, beyond just a final tally of the dollars and cents. 

photo credits: Jessica Surgenor Photography
Find full photo gallery here: http://jessicasurgenorphotography.pass.us/prp2016/

This year's Pink Ribbon Project was an especially tough one for me. With the progression of my Mom's breast cancer and the knowledge we gained in May of it's spread to her liver, there were days I found it difficult to focus on the details that need to be taken care of to bring this event to life. The reality of her battle weighed heavily on all of us as the event drew closer. She started her first round of chemo, which will now continue indefinitely just days before PRP. Knowing that we had organizations that depend on us and all of our guests to take care of gave me something else to focus my energy on and knowing what the night would bring; the energy in the room that gives love and support to those who need it allowed me to move forward with purpose. I am so grateful for that. 

We all know the  stat...1 in 9 Canadian women will face a breast cancer diagnosis. If it hasn't already, this disease will touch your life in some way. When you attend or support PRP in some way, do not underestimate the effect that has. Through the Pink Ribbon Project we are impacting each and every one of the women that will face this disease by supporting the  organizations that are on the front lines; funding research for early detection,  life saving & extending treatment and fighting for the best possible care for breast cancer patients.  You are making that possible.

This year the Pink Ribbon Project raised $21,000 to be shared between the Canadian Breast Cancer Network and the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. On behalf of the PRP committee and the Full Circle Foundation I want to thank each and every person that supported PRP 3 in some way; we are truly humbled by the continued support of this event. Every year our partners and sponsors put their trust in us and give generously to make this event a reality. It would be impossible without them and we will be forever grateful.

If you read our blog posts leading up to Pink Ribbon Project or attended the event, you know that our focus this year was sharing, " Why We PRP....." In the months leading up to the event more and more reasons kept coming to light; not only as things changed for our committee and we found ourselves re-focusing but as people found us, reached out  and allowed us to start to feel the effects of what we have been doing the past 3 years. As people reached out, we began to see that our overriding reasons for Why We PRP actually encompassed every situation we experienced and made it clear that we are taking steps in the right direction. Educate, Advocate, Donate.....

Through  different mediums; social media, our blog, print and  educational materials we worked to shine a light on stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer to further  awareness and understanding of what a stage 4 diagnosis truly means. Our focus has always been to educate ourselves and others and we learned so much through this process. People have been reaching out to share with us what they have learned about metastatic breast cancer, what they didn't know, and how they will be more aware moving forward. For those of you who have shared, thank you. For me, knowing that we have reached even one person gives me more peace of mind.  Its too late for me to go back, to  know what I know now about stage 4 but I can move forward and share that information with others.  

We  specifically wanted to reach  women who have already faced breast cancer in the past and are living their lives with a cancer free status. We wanted them and everyone who loves them to be aware that 30% of them will have their breast cancer return as metastatic. Not to live their life in fear; but to tuck away this bit of information and be able to retrieve it if and when they have persistent, worsening symptoms that may even 

seem unrelated to their previous breast cancer battle. Live with hope, health and happiness but have the information to fall back on. We wanted their family to have  that little voice reminding them of what they know about metastatic breast cancer so that nothing catches them off guard. I used to wish every minute, of every day that I had figured it out sooner; that something would have clicked for me instantly, telling me that my Mom's breast cancer was back. How could I not have put the pieces together? I know now, that I couldn't put the pieces together because I didn't have them all. That puzzle couldn't be solved by me because I didn't know enough. Through PRP we are making sure that others have all the pieces. 

 The steps we have taken as a committee to get more involved in advocacy work have opened a door to both information and action steps. For me, I no longer feel frozen by fear. I know that there are steps I can take that may or may not change things for my family but may change the future for others. Through this new focus we have met others that have needed access to the information we have, or  to be directed to the resources we have accessed through our partnerships. One of the most humbling experiences I have had came to me by way of PRP as we welcomed a new friend and had the opportunity to hear her story, share resources with her and help her, if nothing else to know that she is not alone; that we are fighting for her too!

We are working hard  to have our concerns heard at both a provincial and federal level regarding access to treatments for stage 4 patients. With the guidance of the Canadian Breast Cancer Network and your support we are able to focus our energy in this area and we will not stop until we see equitable access for all breast cancer patients in Canada. Women with metastatic breast cancer are dying while they wait 2-4 years to access new treatments. This is shocking and unacceptable and we must continue to advocate for change. For my Mom and all other breast cancer patients with stage 4, this is a life or death battle and we will continue stand beside them, demanding change. 

When you support PRP you are allowing us to direct funds to organizations we feel are having the most impact on research and patient care. For us it has to be both. The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation has recently made a commitment to fund more research that is specific to metastatic breast cancer. We look forward to seeing which projects will be funded and the outcomes of them . The Canadian Breast Cancer Network continues to advocate for the best care possible for all Canadians facing breast cancer and strives to shine a light on metastatic breast cancer. We are honoured to support the work of both of these organizations and are thankful for the partnerships we have built with them and will continue to build in the future.

Three years into PRP we are starting to see the ripple effect of this event. It's one night....9 hours to be exact where we have a chance to educate, advocate and donate....but the effects of that are starting to reach further and further each year. We don't know what will happen tomorrow but we know that within our community, if someone is looking for support, information, a friend who truly understands what they are facing or someone who will fight for them as they go through their own journey with breast cancer, that they know where to look. We know because we have experienced the ripples more and more each year. Keep reaching out to us if you need support ~ We are here. And for those of you that have supported PRP;  you are creating the ripple effect, keep sharing our stories, our work and what you experience when you attend PRP. You never know what the effect of that might be.

The support you show us through PRP means more than we can ever explain....to paraphrase what my sister, Tara said during her speech that night...Never underestimate what it means when you show up for someone who needs you. In what ever way you choose to show up,  please keep doing it.  In this journey we are on with our Mom,  you are the good. You are giving us the strength that we need to keep going; no matter what the future holds. 

You make it possible for us to fight for our Mom, and for all the those who have faced  breast cancer and for those who will face it in the future. I refuse to be paralyzed by fear and helplessness, I choose to keep moving forward, wearing the support of our Pink Ribbon Project family as armour around my heart, which is full of hope. 

~ Carmen 

Why We PRP....A Mother's Day Blog

Even before I started reading my way through the wall of Mother’s Day cards, I knew I wasn’t going to find one this year.  I didn’t want to read them, I didn’t want to feel like I was choking back tears, or feel disappointed that nobody seemed to be able to put into words what I was feeling for my Mom.  I didn’t want to think about the future, I didn’t even want to think about the past.  I just didn’t want to.

So I walked away empty handed. 

My head and my heart were full of things I wanted to express for my Mom, and to her.  Things I want people to understand about Stage IV breast cancer, about the brave souls fighting their battle with it, and about the families and friends battling alongside them.

I remembered I did have a card tucked away that I had been saving for my Mom.  To me, it seems to better capture the person she is: the selfless woman I admire, the courageous fighter I am in awe of, and the fierce giver of support, encouragement and love she shares with the world every day.......

“Once in a blue moon, people will surprise you…

and once in a while,

people may even take your breath away.” – Grey’s Anatomy

Thank you for making mine a lifetime of blue moons.

My Mom has always kind of taken my breath away.  From the early days when you love your Mommy just because she’s the most beautiful Mommy in the world, to the years when your love grows into respect, admiration, and gratitude, my Mom has never stopped amazing me.  She never will.   I will never be able to fully express my love, but I promise I will never stop trying.

Being part of the family of a Stage IV patient is a delicate balance.  There are so many days when people tell me how good Mom looks, and how they almost forget that she’s sick, and I am thankful for every one of these days and comments.  As her family, we are thankful for every good day, and every good checkup.  Whether we acknowledge it fully, our collective anxiety rises as each scan and test is performed leading up to her next three month checkup.  We hold our breath, waiting for either the other shoe to drop, or a good checkup.  Good meaning that the cancer in her bones is staying put, and not taking up residence in more sites, or in her organs.  Living with Stage IV in the family feels like a constant battle against the disease, and the clock.  Daily, we balance hope and fear, optimism and realism, and often struggle with so many questions that don’t have answers. 

Mom takes her hormone therapy and bone strengthening injections like most people take their vitamins.  She puts up with her family of watchdogs checking up on her – is she eating enough, resting enough, sleeping well, taking time with her friends, and taking time for herself??  She has always approached her fight with an attitude of accepting whatever it takes to keep her here for “her people”.

What I hope she knows is how very blessed we all feel to be “her people.”  She worries endlessly about how her cancer impacts her family, her friends, our friends, and the people around her.  It is hard, absolutely, but in the face of uncertainty and difficulties, our family has grown stronger and closer.  We tell it like it is, hold each other a little tighter, and make the most of the moments we have together.  Our extended circle of love and support is also amazing, and we have nothing but gratitude for that.

We are three years into this journey with Metastatic Breast Cancer.  A disease we knew very little about prior to Mom’s diagnosis.  We really didn’t know that 30% of those diagnosed with breast cancer will have it come back as Stage IV.  We didn’t know any of the things we maybe should have been watching for.  We didn’t know there were so many types of breast cancer, so many treatment plans, or so many people battling.  We just didn’t know.  Until we had to.

I think that is one of the most important things for people to understand about the Pink Ribbon Project.  To us, it is not just a fundraiser. We have so many reasons why we PRP.... It is about taking action in the face of something so much bigger than just our story.  We are raising money, but we are also raising awareness, educating people, and creating a community of support where people feel they can find the resources they need, or someone who just might understand a little of what they are going through.  As we work to educate ourselves, we hope to educate others.  As we find our voice for those fighting this disease, we hope others will join in to make that voice stronger.

The first two years of PRP benefitted the Canadian BreastCancer Foundation, which focuses funds mainly on awareness, research, and early detection.  This year we have expanded our focus to include the Canadian Breast Cancer Network as a second beneficiary.  This survivor driven agency works to make sure patients are getting the best care and support possible.  Recently they have placed more focus on Stage IV, which is why it is so important to share our support with them at this time.  They are fighting to ensure that Stage IV patients have access to the medications and treatments they need to prolong life.

We are proud to lend our support and voices to both of these organizations as they work to provide the research, support, and advocacy needed across all stages of breast cancer.  Both are needed, both are important, and both provide hope and resources to those who need it most.  For us, it has to be both.  We need to continue supporting the work towards an eventual cure, while also supporting those working on life extending treatments for those facing Stage IV right now.

Each year my list of reasons grows as to why I PRP.  My hope is that sharing our stories helps other people to understand more about this disease, and that sharing our event creates a feeling of community and strength.  Some days I feel like my three year-old at bedtime asking, “Mommy, will you stay with me for just a little longer?”  Other days, I can feel stronger, that as we educate, advocate & donate, we are making progress, making a contribution, and possibly a different story.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!  Thank you for being a fighter always – I love you to the moon and back, and more than all the stars in the sky….xoxo

~Tara

(For event & ticket information for the Pink Ribbon Project please see our webpage or  follow us Facebook )